Dear Older Self, I want you to find ways to practice letting go of self-centeredness so that you can see beyond your own needs to the needs of others. You know what I mean by self-centeredness. It is a narrow focus that makes you blind to other people. It is that constriction in your mind and heart that can lead to self pity or to feelings of entitlement. It is the tendency to grasp and … [Read more...] about Note to Self: Let go of self-centeredness

Dear Older Self, Just as you may be carrying burdens of bitterness, you may carry burdens of unresolved guilt for harm you have caused other people. As difficult as it is to face the harm that others have done to you, it can be even more difficult to face your own culpability. I know that you know many stories about people who have made amends in the last stages of their lives. I think about … [Read more...] about Note to Self: Make amends

Dear Older Self, As you move into your later years it is possible that you will find yourself living with bitterness toward people who have hurt you in the past. You may be carrying burdens that are the result of not being able or willing to forgive. You may have tried to forgive those who have harmed you only to find yourself ruminating about old grievances. As a result, your heart may have … [Read more...] about Note to Self: Learn forgiveness

Dear Older Self, Beware of your resentments. They are like poisonous weeds that are dangerous to your health and well being. Remember the suffering created by the resentments of an elderly woman you knew? She resented her husband’s loss of cognitive and motor skills. She often became verbally abusive of him. She would shame him for his failing memory and decreased abilities adding greatly to … [Read more...] about Note to Self: Take inventory of resentments

Dear Older Self, Codependency is a term that was originally coined to describe the dynamics that can play out in the lives of people who are in relationship with an addict or an alcoholic. Spouses, children, siblings and parents often think that they are responsible to control or change their addicted loved-one. This belief can, unfortunately, lead to increased suffering and destruction in … [Read more...] about Note to Self: Entrust others to God’s care

Dear Older Self, Gambling is a mood altering behavior that can become an addiction with devastating consequences. Remember that older woman who had inherited her parents’ home? The mortgage was completely paid off when she inherited the property. This made it much easier for her to live off her social security income. Unfortunately, she became addicted to gambling and drew money out of her … [Read more...] about Note to Self: Embrace financial sobriety

Dear Older Self, Aging often brings an increase in aches and pains. Arthritis may set in or get worse. Joints can become worn down. Discs may be bulging. Falls become more of a risk. Surgeries are sometimes needed. Painful neuropathy from diabetes or chemotherapy may become part of life. Slowed circulation in the legs may cause ongoing suffering. If you experience some kind of chronic pain … [Read more...] about Note to Self: Seek help with pain management