I will remove from them their hearts of stone and give them a heart of flesh. Ezekiel 11:19 When I was diagnosed with cancer I felt fear, but I was not clear about what frightened me. So I prayed for clarity: “God, I know that I am afraid. But what am I most afraid of? Please show me.” Vulnerability was the word that came as a response to this prayer. Being vulnerable was what frightened … [Read more...] about Learn Vulnerability
Show Up
Let us not become weary in doing good. Galatians 6:9 Sometimes life is mostly about showing up. And sometimes that is not easy to do. My experience with cancer, much like my experience of healing from childhood trauma, was a long series of needing to show up. Showing up to take care of cancer means showing up for doctor’s appointments, tests and surgeries. In addition to these events, I was … [Read more...] about Show Up
Soaring
We soared through grand canyons of clouds, thirty thousand feet above tobacco fields profiteering in death, above the capitol’s hostile divides, above wall street’s gambling greed. We soared between billowing boulders of cloud cliffs, forming rocky mountains in the sky, weaving deep chasms of dazzling white, through which to tilt great wings and fly. A group practice … [Read more...] about Soaring
Small
I love being small tucked into your vastness, a speck on a larger spinning speck, one of billions upon billions of your dancing diamonds, all held in the largeness of your heart. I love being hidden, safe, under the wing of your great love aware how infinitesimal is my knowing, resting in the thought that you, the One who knows all, knows me. I love being creature of your … [Read more...] about Small
Brilliant Dying
Lord, they say the leaves are dying. But how can this be what dying looks like? Glorious brilliance pixelating the deep green forests with shimmering sunshine? Is it dying that causes them to sing out such beauty? Or is it a life time, however brief, of bathing in light? Can our dying be this blessed? Our living such pure gift? ------ The Lord is God, and he … [Read more...] about Brilliant Dying
Receiving
“You gave it me!?” “You gave it me!? Tanks!” Two years old, opening gifts from under the Christmas tree. Throwing his arms around us, his whole weight into us. Responding to each gift in gratitude’s full joy. Receiving. Free of worry or shame or hesitation. Receiving fully, the gift, the giver, the love. Giving back in the same moment as he took it all in. Fully, … [Read more...] about Receiving
Altar of Praise
Here, by the cold river’s edge, I am gathering rocks of substance, before the great crossing, to build an altar of praise to you. These rocks will cry out songs of thanksgiving in gratitude for your tender mercies, and faithful, powerful love. Rocks of remembrance, piled up, a tumbling tower meant to mark the wonder of this one small life you pulled from the mire and … [Read more...] about Altar of Praise
Blessed Beauty
You rained colored confetti from great maples and oaks sending the playful display forth with one slight whisper to float, spin, fall, lazying down to bless us. You showed us ancient vines which long ago reached up to grow day after day, into an embrace, entwining their majestic host, parasites drawing life, while holding fast. You drew us down a path laced with screaming red, … [Read more...] about Blessed Beauty
It Is Good
“It is good that I am leaving you.” You said these words to your dear friends soon to know heart muscles ripped raw, lungs refusing to fill, all sight taken from them in grief’s moonless night. I have not known you like they did. I never stood in the shade at the edge of an olive grove and listened as the song of your strong, sure love rose up from the depths of … [Read more...] about It Is Good
With You
You are here, now, asking me to remain with you. But my mind travels far, revisiting, inventing, regretting, resenting, worrying, controlling, without you. Help me return to this moment where you live with me. Teach me to anchor myself to you. May I awaken to morning’s new light and to you. May I cherish the gift of water refreshing my face and you. May I be … [Read more...] about With You