Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.
Matthew 5:4
I was grieving—
alone in prayer
when I sensed the Spirit
asking me to place my breaking heart
into God’s hands.
With some hesitation,
I responded to this strange request.
What I saw next surprised me.
I expected that God might mend my broken heart,
or at least hold it together.
Instead, God took and held my breaking heart
and gently broke it all the way open.
I was startled. But curious.
My sense was that God
was breaking through the hardness of my defenses,
in order to break my heart all the way open.
God was breaking through the hard outer crusts
to expose the hidden softness.
I saw it then, how I was being invited,
in the midst of my grief,
to become bread in God’s hands.
I was being asked to surrender myself
to being broken open—
so that the softness of my heart, now laid bare,
might be offered to others hungry for love.
This post is from Juanita’s book: Grace Rises
I can really relate to this experience. I work at a church that offers a Celebrate Recovery program. On the day this exert was posted I was trying to print 100 bulletins for the Tuesday night C. R. meeting with a lesson was on Powerless but the copier was not working properly. I began feeling frustrated at the inconvenience and the amount of time that was being wasted. Realizing the problem was out of my control, I began to pray that we would not have to call a repairman. But as I prayed for the copier and the project to finish printing and embraced feeling powerless, my heart opened to the Lord and all the people he would bring to us that night. My prayers expanded for those scared, lost and addicted. I prayed for those terrified of exposure and rejection, the anxious, codependent, perfectionist, depressed and angry. I prayed for those who feel unworthy of love, out of work or facing prison. Sitting on the floor in prayer with my back against the copier, I silently cried out to God to bring hope and healing to every one of those hurting persons. By the time the bulletins finished printing, without another printing problem, my heart opened, softened and had filled with love for God and others!
Thank you for sharing this experience with us, Sharon. The prayers of compassion you offered up for the dear people who come into your Celebrate Recovery meetings are so moving. The softness of your tender heart is beautiful. Blessings!