I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in his word I put my hope. My soul waits for the Lord more than watchmen wait for the morning, more than the watchmen wait for the morning. Psalm 130: 5,6 The grocery store where I do much of our shopping has a policy to keep their check out lines no longer than three customers at a time. As soon as any of the lines get longer than this, they call for … [Read more...] about Stay Present in Times of Waiting

Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother, then come and offer your gift. Matthew 5:23 Throughout my experience with cancer I often prayed to be given the grace to be vulnerable. Sometimes I was granted this gift, but sometimes—I think … [Read more...] about Make Amends

I will remove from them their hearts of stone and give them a heart of flesh. Ezekiel 11:19 When I was diagnosed with cancer I felt fear, but I was not clear about what frightened me. So I prayed for clarity: “God, I know that I am afraid. But what am I most afraid of? Please show me.” Vulnerability was the word that came as a response to this prayer. Being vulnerable was what frightened me the … [Read more...] about Learn Vulnerability

Let us not become weary in doing good. Galatians 6:9 Sometimes life is mostly about showing up. And sometimes that is not easy to do. My experience with cancer, much like my experience of healing from childhood trauma, was a long series of needing to show up. Showing up to take care of cancer means showing up for doctor’s appointments, tests and surgeries. In addition to these events, I was … [Read more...] about Show Up

Be completely humble and gentle; be patient; bearing with one another in love. Ephesians 4:2 I lost a few nights sleep in the month after being diagnosed with cancer. Usually the sleeplessness was not about my reaction to the diagnosis itself. It was because I was reacting to something friends did or didn’t do. Or to something a health care professional said or didn’t say. I didn’t like being … [Read more...] about Extend Grace

Let us fix our eyes on Jesus the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning the shame. Hebrews 12:2 Shame is that terrible, private feeling that something is wrong with us—that we are somehow defective as a person. That we are irreparably damaged. That if anyone really knew what we were like we would be rejected. A part of the experience of … [Read more...] about Let Go of Shame

Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is an offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting. Psalm 139:25-26 Difficulties in life bring out the best in us. And the worst. This was certainly true of my experience with cancer. I prayed and practiced surrender and took in the love and support of others and of God. And I was resentful and … [Read more...] about Take Inventory