In Your Name

I am tired of pretending
in your name.
I am tired of pretending
that problems don’t exist,
that feelings are
to be disregarded.
I am tired of pretending
that I do not struggle.

I need truth, not pretense.
I am hungry for what is real.
I long to feel passionately
the joy
and sorrow
you made me capable of.

I need,
in your name,
to weep and to laugh,
to mourn and to dance.
I need to experience
the richness
of all you made me
capable of feeling.
I need to experience it all
in your name.

——

There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under heaven;
a time to weep
and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn
and a time to dance.
Ecclesiastes 3: 1,4

from Heaven at My Door by Juanita Ryan